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Why Parents Make Good Human Resources Professionals

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(Published May 11, 2009)

While mediating a recent disagreement between my 10-year-old daughter and my 8-year-old son (right before Mother's Day, of all days), it dawned on me that some of the skills I have acquired as a mother also come in handy in HR.

My kids were arguing over whose turn it was to clear the table after dinner. My daughter insisted that it was her brother's turn since she had cleared the dinner dishes several times during the week while he was at baseball practice. He, on the other hand, argued that that wasn't fair since he had cleared off the table the evening before.

Oftentimes, HR is responsible for settling claims of unfairness, just like this one, by employees who feel like they are getting the shorter end of the proverbial stick. The role of mediator comes with the HR (and parenting) territory. Like any HR professional involved in conflict resolution, I gave each of my children the opportunity to voice his/her side of the argument, I helped them find common areas of agreement, and encouraged them to find a peaceful resolution that worked for us all. (My son begrudgingly agreed to clear the table. He couldn't argue with the fact that his sister had helped with the dishes four nights during the week compared to his one.)

Another skill I have acquired as a mother that certainly comes in handy in HR is implementing the family dress code. Many a morning my tween daughter and I have argued over what is appropriate attire to wear to school. Despite the fact that worn or ripped jeans are permitted under the school's dress code, they do not pass muster under my own appearance guidelines.

Like it or not, HR is often called upon to act as the fashion police, making judgment calls as to what is professional and appropriate attire for the workplace under the company's dress code policy. Is a skirt too short? Is a dress too tight? Or is a t-shirt too casual? Whether you're enforcing dress code standards for your children or your employees, the bottom line is the same: Attire must be neat, clean, and appropriate for the workplace/school environment.

Of course, you will often get debated on what is considered appropriate, and you will need to stick to your guns. When you enforce rules, you may get labeled as the "bad guy." You need a thick skin to be in HR and to be a parent.

Let's face it. Human Resources is often seen as the "mother hen" of a company. It may not be what HR wants, but it is the reality for many, so it's no wonder that parenting skills come in handy in HR.

Stacey Ziegler
Editor


I have an undergraduate degree in Family Resources & a Masters in Industrial Relations & I can say that on more than one occassion the preschool training come in handy! Adults are like kids in many ways, they want to be treated fairly and appreciated. They just verbalize it differently (Her cookie is bigger than mine v/s she makes more than I do).
Posted by: Michele( Visit ) at 5/12/2009 12:46 PM


I have two teenage daughters who are past most of their "drama" moments...handling those moments was easier than some of the issues I've encountered in the work place. Same issues just not as easy to ground staff.
Posted by: Chris Davis at 5/12/2009 2:06 PM


I disagree that it is accepted as reality that HR is the "mother hen" of a company. I believe that is a key reason HR has the reputation it often has - not as a strategic partner.

Employees are not children and the culture should be one facilitated by HR that does not have to deal with telling someone a t-shirt is inappropriate.

HR needs to focus on the higher level issues of everyone acting in a respectful and professional manner - not policing what folks are wearing.
Posted by: Donna Zimmerman at 5/13/2009 11:10 AM


A few more reasons that I say I can have empathy for almost any situation that happens in HR. This blog makes me smile.
Posted by: Linda H at 5/13/2009 11:13 AM


What really get's me is when my employees' behavior is worse than my kids! My kids are appalled at some of the stories, saying, "Grown-ups act like that? Even I don't do that!".
Posted by: Lisa H at 5/13/2009 11:21 AM


I agree, sometimes I feel like I am a school teacher or a mother at work, having to get in the middle of the employees complaining about others or what they should be wearing. These are grown adults and they should know how to be prefessional and what is appropriate in the workplace. They also call me their 2nd mom, because they come to me with problems all the time. I guess that is part of the position.
Posted by: GM at 5/13/2009 11:51 AM


While I also don't agree with the "mother hen" analogy, I think Donna is missing the boat here and has actually proven Stacy's and other's points. Issues of everyone acting in a respectful and professional manner are precisely what we're talking about and exactly the same types of issues that parents deal with concerning their kids.
Posted by: Pete at 5/13/2009 12:16 PM


I believe that it is exactly the opposite. You may be a better Mother because you have acquired some skills to facilitate positive interactions. I agree with others who state that we should be stragetic to the business and definition of Mother may involve compasion, understanding, etc., however, depending upon the culture necessary to implement a specific business strategy these elements may or may not be what moves the business to success. If employees are speaking to you and expecting you to be what you call the "Mother role" you probably should evaluate what role you are playing that enables the employee to focus on the business goals and be sure that your time is spent appropriately.
Posted by: Karen at 5/13/2009 2:16 PM


Sometimes what seems so logical at home can land you in a lawsuit a work. I think that you are best suited not to have kids in HR, so that you can focus on your job and do research on legal issues at night, to be the best strategic partner. Business needs professionals not mothers. Leave your parenting at home.
Posted by: strictly business at 5/13/2009 2:25 PM


Really "listen" to what Stacey is saying -- that some of her skills she uses in HR she learned as a parent. She learned some of her skills at home and perhaps some one else learned them at another job -- who cares where you learned your skills as long as you learn them? Of course, you should be strategic (of which negotiating is a key skill). At no time did she say HR should be a Mother Hen - just that it often is in reality. In some work cultures, HR is the mother hean and in others, HR is considered more strategic. That depends on what upper management expects from HR. Mother Hen implies, to me, that HR is the keeper of the culture and you take ownership of your HR job to make your company a great place to work -- you protect the culture and your HR role depends on the culture. The dress code was just an example to explain her view.
Posted by: Cindy at 5/13/2009 6:47 PM


I agree that some skills can be beneficial in both areas, personal and professional. I am not really sure how having kids will interfere with the HR role, as implied by strictly business; but we cannot forget that ultimately, we are dealing with human beings, that interact in different ways in the workplace, therefore will require different levels of handling, sometimes compared to the needs of different children in the household. Business need mothers that know how to be professionals at work, and if your parenting skills will help you accomplish that, then even better.
Posted by: MG at 5/27/2009 1:14 PM


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