(Published April 27, 2009)

A friend was relaying the difficulty she was having finding the perfect new hire, and her trials and tribulations started sounding vaguely familiar to me. I realized it was because it mirrored in some ways her quest for the perfect boyfriend. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that going through the hiring process is not all that different than the dating process.

In both situations, you first look at the candidate's qualifications to assess whether you want to pursue them any further. Volunteer work at a local soup kitchen can score points with both a prospective employer and a prospective mate! Of course, anyone who has gone through the hiring and dating processes knows that someone who looks good on paper (figuratively, in the dating world; literally, in the work world) does not always translate to a good match in reality. That's what the interview/first date are for.

As superficial as we don't want to be, there is no doubt that appearance is a factor in both situations. Whether on a job interview or date, the candidate had better be showered, dressed appropriately for the occasion, and look like they know how to use an iron.

Both an interview and a date are made or broken by how well the conversation goes. You want someone who is attentive. What's more annoying than a job candidate who spends most of the interview looking at pictures on the windowsill and the calendar of deadlines on the wall, instead of looking at you? How about a date whose gaze follows every attractive woman (or man) who walks by.

Besides being a good listener, candidates must also ask good questions. Being on a date with someone who talks only about themselves and doesn't ask questions about the other person is a turn-off, as is the job candidate who has no intelligent questions about the job or the company, but can't wait to find out how much vacation time they get and when they can start using it.

Many first dates occur at restaurants, as do some interviews. Both call for the candidate to be smart about what they order. Foods to stay away from on both a date and an interview include spaghetti (or any splatter-prone pasta), ribs (unless you're at a rib joint, because then it would just be weird if you didn't), and spinach (unless you normally talk without showing your teeth). The candidate must also be smart about alcohol consumption. Generally, interviewees should just say no; dates should limit themselves to just one.

Being in a restaurant setting allows you to assess the candidate in another way. Someone who is rude to the waitstaff is not a nice person, no matter how much he/she is fawning all over you. They're fawning all over you because they want something from you. But they show their true colors if they disrespect those that they feel are beneath them, whether it's a waiter or waitress or your receptionist or assistant.

Now, after the date/interview are over, a follow-up phone call or e-mail is nice. It shows initiative and interest. However, there is a line between enthusiasm and stalking. After an interview or first date, daily phone calls on top of e-mails are a big faux pas. Both will scare off prospective employers and mates.

Finally, you meet someone that stands head and shoulders over the others, and they agree with you that it's a match made in heaven. It looks like the beginning of a promising relationship. But don't forget that there's a "honeymoon phase" with both new hires and new boy/girlfriends. Everyone puts their best foot forward initially, but that eventually falls by the wayside, at least somewhat. The question is, are you still enamored of this person once you see them warts and all?

Gloria Ju
Editor in Chief