(Published July 6, 2009)
I was at a Fourth of July barbeque, happily stuffing my face with free food and drink, when it happened. An acquaintance of mine wandered over, made some innocent-sounding small talk, then got down to business.
"You know all about employment law, don't you? I was wondering…My co-worker's hours were just cut back so severely that she can't afford to live on her wages anymore. Can she collect unemployment while still keeping her job?"
"Oh, wait!" another person who'd overheard broke in. "Before you answer that, just answer this quick question: My company just announced that it's discontinuing its 401(k) employer-match because of the economy. Can they do that?"
"Oh, my God, that's nothing," broke in a third party-pooper. "My boss keeps 'fixing' our clock-out times on our timesheets because she says we're not supposed to be paid for being there after the store closes. But we're there at least an hour after closing every night, getting things ready for the next morning! What should we do?"
As they all turned to me expectantly, I found myself caught in a mixture of emotions:
- Eagerness to show off my depth of knowledge.
- Fear I might give factually incorrect answers or bad advice, particularly because I hadn't heard "the other side" (i.e., the employer's side) to any of these stories.
- Annoyance that I couldn't simply enjoy my holiday weekend in peace without having to think about "serious," work-related stuff.
So, not knowing what else to do, I poured my lemonade over the head of one, shoved my hot dog up another's nose, and stomped on the flip-flopped foot of the third, before diving fully clothed into the pool for a quick getaway.
No, just kidding. Actually, I just commiserated with all of them ("Wow, that's rough. I'm glad I'm not in your position!") before deftly steering the conversation to "lighter" fare — the general state of the economy and what President Obama should do to fix it.
This was not an isolated incident. But at least this time, it was only casual acquaintances asking for advice, so I didn't feel too bad about dodging their questions. Where it gets really sticky is when it's friends and family asking for work-related personal favors.
For instance, when I worked in the travel industry, I was surprised over how many people expected me to get them discounted hotel rooms, airline tickets, etc. (They ended up being sorely disappointed!) And when I worked in book publishing, everyone expected loads of free books. (Again, didn't happen for them.)
I have friends and acquaintances who are physicians and investment experts, and I would never dream of asking them for professional favors or even free advice. But not everyone seems to have the same reticence that I do.
So what do you do when friends, family, and casual acquaintances ask for advice on HR-related matters? Or ask for a personal favor, maybe in helping them get hired? Let me know — or else someday, maybe I really will have to resort to the ol' hot-dog-up-the-nose maneuver!
Eileen Mager
Writer
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