A former co-worker once called his manager and told him he wasn’t going to make it to work until the bear that was standing between him and his car moved on. Any doubts the manager may have had were quickly dispelled when my friend made it to work with a picture of the bear near his car.
While this was not a made-up excuse, some employees are so desperate to avoid going to work that they go to great extremes in coming up with a good excuse to be absent.
Take the alleged victim of a drive-by shooting in Washington state. He admitted he had asked his friend to shoot him in the shoulder. Reason: He didn’t want to take a drug test at work.
Or the employee in Germany didn’t want to go to work because she couldn’t repay a co-worker the equivalent of about $32. She sent her parents a text message saying she had been kidnapped. After a massive search ensued, she was miraculously “set free” the next morning.
Then there is the salesman who took several months of paid leave in order to care for his three-year-old son who had cancer. Only after the employer tried to send flowers to the family after learning that the boy had succumbed to the disease did it come to light that the employee had concocted the whole story. He was ordered to pay over $52,000 in damages.
Similarly, another worker presented her employer with fake letters from doctors saying she had malignant brain tumors. She has been charged with theft since she had received $21,000 worth of paid leave and used sick days donated by co-workers.
More commonly, employees will fake a cold or exaggerate a minor illness for a day off. Their actions are not as extreme as the employees above, but they’re sneaky just the same. One website advises employees on how to get an “unscheduled day of leisure…without raising suspicions at work.” It provides tips for calling out, such as coughing; speaking in a raspy voice; speaking somewhat slowly; calling early in the morning, when their voice is still rough with sleep. It also gives advice on things employees can do for “added effect,” including making it sound like one just finished throwing up and faking a cold.
(Okay, for those of you who are curious, bending over the toilet while pressing your forearm into your stomach apparently makes you sound like you just vomited. And putting your nose under a running faucet and taking a shallow breath will result in the sniffles for 2-3 minutes.)
Everyone should take a day off now and then, but employees who go to extremes should face a permanent vacation.
Gloria Ju
Editor in Chief
Home
